To Risk or Avoid: The Complexity of Old Trauma and New Relationships~



In EMDR there is an expression known as ” looping.” It means put simply, getting stuck in a rut of a negative cognition or negative thought that tends to go around and around in circles until the therapist can offer re framing or a suggestion that interrupts the loop. What if as survivors of trauma, we also get stuck in loops with painful relationships? Survivors of child hood trauma will often admit that they are caught in a debilitating nightmare repeating painful patterns in intimate relationships until they wish for death. How do we stop these painful patterns? How do we get out of the loop, step off of the merry-go-round, or interrupt the pattern?

Fear keeps us paralyzed. It keeps us stuck. Stuck in this fear we would rather avoid relationships, authority, career options, and family. Avoidance, though lonely, is the only way out, or so it would seem…

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