Why Do We Get Into Dysfunctional Relationships That Mirror Our Childhood?

Children idealize their dysfunctional caregivers in various ways. They do this by creating a fantasy of who their caregivers are. They literally tell themselves lies, make up stories in their mind about how wonderful their caretakers are. They exaggerate their caretaker’s strengths to minimize the deficits or abuse as a way to survive the dysfunctional system. They tell stories to themselves about how wonderful their father, mother or caregivers are so that they can be sure to omit the abuse adapt and carry on.

Digital Attachment Trauma

We are embedded in a critical age of what I am going to call digital attachment trauma. It is with much sadness I witness parents on their digital gadgets while their school-age children are either on their digital toys as well, or they are bored and staring at their parent consumed with Facebook, Twitter or…

Pets – PTSD

Pets can and will heal your nervous system, spirit and attachment wounds. Through their unconditional and devoted love they role model peace, and calmness. Many times I had the pleasure of listening to my kitty purr away while I was grieving or feeling overwhelmed. The responsibility of caring for her helped me grow, stay still…

Trauma and Attachment

Finally, studies are showing that those with insecure attachments have a tendency for preoccupation, minimizing negative partner traits, idealizing the partner, staying anxious until the partner returns and therefore staying in relationships that do not provide security far longer than necessary. Is this Codependence? No. According to new MRI studies, we now know that to…