Are You A Functional Adult Or An Adaptive Child?

Are You An Adaptive Child? I am the child who had to adapt to the crazy dysfunctional family I grew up in.  I did a great job of negotiating the narcissistic parenting I received. I made sure my parent’s sibling, or pet came before me. This seemed to calm the stormy waters which were a…

Rants From The Adaptive Child… Boundaries

What are you talking about.. boundaries? What the heck is a boundary? What do you mean? Where you begin and I end? I don’t know what you are talking about? I was violated physically, sexually, emotionally, mentally.  I learned I was the abuser’s property. I couldn’t say NO. My thoughts and my feelings belonged to…

Rants From The Adaptive Child… Needs

What are your needs? Do you mean meet other people’s needs? My kids? My partner? My dysfunctional parents? I remember taking care of my parents when  I was a kid. Is this what you mean? I don’t know what my needs are. I get hungry. I get tired. Is this what you mean? Sometimes I…

Neuroplasticity – EMDR

Neuroplasticity – EMDR and the Role of Healing Childhood Trauma Studies on neuroplasticity have become increasingly popular in the last several years. It was once thought that our brain was fixed and unchanging once we enter adulthood. Research throughout the last few decades has determined that in fact, our brain has the ability to change…

ACE Study – Probably the most important study of this decade…

The Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACE Study) is the product of collaboration between Vincent J. Felitti, MD, who founded and directed the Preventive Medicine Department at Kaiser Permanente in San Diego, CA, and Robert F. Anda, MD, MS of the National Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, who designed, analyzed the data and prepared numerous…

Healing Dissociation and Ego States

When a child is exposed to a traumatic incident there is a risk that this child’s nervous system will become so overwhelmed, that to survive their environment a child will respond to this traumatic event by going into a dissociative state. As mentioned in other posts related to the nervous system, this is not a…

Little Boy Lost; You Too Need A Hero

Too often, I hear stories of men who, as little boys, were violated in unimaginable ways. Conditioned by society to protect and provide for a family, admitting that you are vulnerable seems impossible. The stigma of any abuse against you as a child, is in many ways, complicated and deep. Sexual violation robs you of…