Sex & Abuse of Power 2022 – June 29th – is an incredibly historic day for women and in particular for black women. A famous artist with lots of power is brought down for human trafficking, sex abuse, and child pornography. R.Kelly Justice is served. I have never witnessed anything like this in my lifetime….
Category: Relationships
Name it- Don’t Blame it!
Childhood Trauma and Emotional EQ Children who grow up in dysfunctional family systems do not develop emotional EQ. They miss important developmental milestones because they are busy putting all of their energy into survival. This leads to children who grow up to become Adult children also known as the Adult Child. An adult child…
Relationships and Regulation
It’s interesting how so many dating advice sites and popular dating books ask women to stop being needy, or never act needy, or remain aloof. But what a lot of these self-help articles for dating and relationships miss, is how important it is to turn toward our partner, be honest about our feelings, and then…
Dr. Mike Evans: The Brain
Dr. Mike Evans: Saving Brains, A Grand Challenge
Trauma and Attachment
Finally, studies are showing that those with insecure attachments have a tendency for preoccupation, minimizing negative partner traits, idealizing the partner, staying anxious until the partner returns and therefore staying in relationships that do not provide security far longer than necessary. Is this Codependence? No. According to new MRI studies, we now know that attaching…
Christmas
Holidays are difficult for most people, never mind those of us who do not share the warm and fuzzies with family, or once did, but for whatever reason, don’t now. There are things you can do to make this time easier: Volunteer anywhere. Reaching out is the best way to forget about your problems and…
Having A Bad Day? Nurture Your Little Self
Call on your Wonderwoman / Wonderman. Call on your protector part of self or your nurturing part of self. Self soothe. Breathe. Practice mindfulness. Focus on your breath. Distract yourself. Practice a pleasure activity. Be with a friend. Pray. Spend time with a pet. Colour. Focus on your goals. Do one thing that you can…
Political / Social Action
“The solidarity of resistance, we cannot do this alone. The power to change the way people think and what people do comes out of small groups of people who care about something to try something new.” Judith Herman Fight back. Stand up. Write a statement about what happened. Read it to your therapist. Start a…
External Resources
Do you have a safe place to live? Is your partner/roommate supportive? Can you count on them? Do you have enough income to support yourself? Do you take care of yourself and include a physician and dentist as part of your self-care? Do you eat at least three regular healthy meals a day which include…
I Don’t Believe In A Loving Force
For those of us who have experienced complex trauma, the idea that something greater than ourselves could be somewhere out there in the abyss (so to speak), is absurd. After all, for some of us, our caregivers were the only greater we understood and it was not so great. Moreover, that greater was the power…
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