Relationships and Regulation

It’s interesting how so many dating advice sites and popular dating books ask women to stop being needy, or never act needy, or remain aloof. But what a lot of these self-help articles for dating and relationships miss, is how important it is to turn toward our partner, be honest about our feelings, and then…

Trauma and Attachment

Finally, studies are showing that those with insecure attachments have a tendency for preoccupation, minimizing negative partner traits, idealizing the partner, staying anxious until the partner returns and therefore staying in relationships that do not provide security far longer than necessary. Is this Codependence? No. According to new MRI studies, we now know that to…

Christmas

Holidays are difficult for most people, never mind those of us who do not share the warm and fuzzies with family, or once did, but for whatever reason, don’t now. There are things you can do to make this time easier: Volunteer anywhere. Reaching out is the best way to forget about your problems and…

Political / Social Action

“The solidarity of resistance, we cannot do this alone. The power to change the way people think and what people do comes out of small groups of people who care about something to try something new.” Judith Herman Fight back. Stand up. Write a statement about what happened. Read it to your therapist. Start a…

External Resources

Do you have a safe place to live? Is your partner/room-mate supportive? Can you count on them? Do you have enough income to support yourself? Do you take care of yourself and include a physician and dentist as part of your self-care? Do you eat at least three regular healthy meals a day which include…

The Merry-Go-Round Of The Fantasy Unmet

Relationships and Trauma A survivor of complex trauma will often continue the same fantasies they had as children into their adult lives. Survivors look for rescuers or saviours in partners only to become disillusioned when this rescuer shows a human error or is not able to be that unconditional rescuer 24/7. A survivor can also…