Why Do We Get Into Dysfunctional Relationships That Mirror Our Childhood?

Children idealize their dysfunctional caregivers in various ways. They do this by creating a fantasy of who their caregivers are. They literally tell themselves lies, make up stories in their mind about how wonderful their caretakers are. They exaggerate their caretaker’s strengths to minimize the deficits or abuse as a way to survive the dysfunctional system. They tell stories to themselves about how wonderful their father, mother or caregivers are so that they can be sure to omit the abuse adapt and carry on.

Are You Living The Life You Were Programmed To Live Or The Life You Were Born To Live?

Did you grow up in a childhood where you spent the majority of your time taking care of your caregiver(s) needs? Instead of your parents meeting your needs, you found yourself sacrificing your needs to take care of your parents?  Your parents were self-involved, more worried about their own needs and wants that you were neglected or ignored? This kind of parenting is known as narcissistic parenting.

Relationships and Regulation

It’s interesting how so many dating advice sites and popular dating books ask women to stop being needy, or never act needy, or remain aloof. But what a lot of these self-help articles for dating and relationships miss, is how important it is to turn toward our partner, be honest about our feelings, and then…

The Merry-Go-Round Of The Fantasy Unmet

Relationships and Trauma A survivor of complex trauma will often continue the same fantasies they had as children into their adult lives. Survivors look for rescuers or saviours in partners only to become disillusioned when this rescuer shows a human error or is not able to be that unconditional rescuer 24/7. A survivor can also…